Today was truly the first day of the rest of my life.

Hey guys. I want to talk about something serious today. I'm not writing this for attention or anything like that. I just want to write this so I can get it out and fully complete this day.

Since I first came to PSU I haven’t been really happy. I mean yea, at times I was, but never fully. and those times were almost only when I went to visit my family or went back to Germany. There was always an undertone of sadness and uncertainty about everything. I didn’t really tell anyone about it or anything either. I constantly had a feeling of loneliness, even if there were people around. It got somewhat better during the summer, especially while my bestfriend/brother Ian was there, but then towards the end it just pretty much went to shit. Last week, when I went on break things got really bad and I was having horrible nightmares that were stressing me out horrible and making me feel like garbage. I also saw my cousins applying for jobs and saw just how stressful and difficult it is to find jobs nowadays. Then yesterday I hit the lowest point, when I found out that my faculty senate petition got denied after I had waited so long for it. I was so mad and I felt like complete and utter shit and a failure. I decided that I didn’t want to attend PSU anymore and I angrily called my parents. They calmed me down and my dad told me something that I’m never going to forget.
He told me that I just need to focus on the now and do everything to the best of my abilities. Worry about the then later. I finally saw that he was right. I also saw that he was right when he used to say that I only see the negative in things. That was true. My grades are good, I'm healthy, I have great friends and a great family and I go to a great school with a lot of nice people and also a lot of beautiful girls.

So after I got off the phone with my parents I decided that I was gonna make a change today, December 5th 2013. I actually participated in my classes and made new friends today. I went for a run and did a small workout. I went to a concert by myself, which is surprising because I never really go do stuff by myself and met people there. I'm glad I went there by myself, because I had fun. I was getting hype while the rapper was right next to me in the crowd rapping. I shaved my facial hair off to symbolize a new beginning, a new me. 

I feel good. I'm happy. I'm looking forward to whatever comes next. I feel like I grew a lot.

This is the first time in a long time that I feel like James Pritchard or as Kevin Conley would say: "James Fuckin' Pritchard" 

Thank you to my parents for supporting me no matter what. I love you guys.

Today was truly the first day of the rest of my life.